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Tips to Calm Your Nerves: How to Handle Comments

In: How to

No one likes to be criticized. Nevertheless, we often encounter harsh comments from our colleagues or boss at work, or from friends and partners in personal life. Critique never feels good. Even when it is constructive, presented in a mild manner and is meant to help us, it still sets our insides on fire. It hurts our self-esteem, our ego and turns many of us into defensive spiteful creatures. But is there a way to learn how to handle such comments? Anything that would calm your nerves and prevent you from thinking about assassinating your boss? Luckily, psychologist have also asked themselves these questions and found some helpful answers. Today Star-Writers will share with you some invaluable tips on how to deal with criticism without getting nervous. If you are stressed and nervous about your writing project, be it a little essay or a thick volume of dissertation, our expert writers can take that deadly weight of your shoulders. Simply place an order on our website and return to your peaceful life, and Star-Writers will do the job for you.

All people react to critique comments in the very similar way. First we get angry and defensive. Psychologists say that it is a normal reaction of human mind to protect itself, which had developed in us during the centuries.  From biological point of view, if your self-esteem is damaged, you function less effectively and it subsequently lowers our chances of survival in this world. So next time when you get all mad and defensive, don’t get angry at your personality, because it’s not you, but biology what does it. After being criticized we can spend hours or even days gnawing at ourselves from within and replaying the moment of critique in our heads, the way we would crush our offender with a subtle and witty insult. There is no need to make a scene and quit your job. But all this is counterproductive and even harmful for health. However, there are some people who can handle such comments surprisingly easy. Let’s find out what their secrets are and how you can become calmer when you need it.

  1. Leave. First of all, when you have been criticized and feel how the anger starts bubbling inside, go somewhere else. If it is possible don’t stay in the same room with the person, who has just rewarded you with a harsh comment. If you are at work, take a five minute break, drink a glass of water and take a breath of fresh air outside. In order to be able to react adequately to the comments, you need to distance yourself from that person physically and psychologically;
  2. Apply yoga techniques. There is nothing better for your mind and body than yoga. To apply some yoga techniques to calm your nerves, you don’t need to change your clothes or spread a mat on the floor. All you need is to sit down and close your eyes. Before you let go of the nervous tension in your body, you need to embrace it. Feel the tension in your arms, legs, neck, head, and torso. For a moment accept it and then imagine how it evaporates from your limbs, through your skin, centimeter by centimeter. In a moment you will feel much lighter and calmer;
  3. Try to learn. After you calmed down your nerves and no longer breathing fire, try to see what you can learn from the critique. Even though, all such comments feel unreasonable, there might me a grain of truth in them. Try not to get emotional and recognize if there is anything constructive and helpful you can learn from it and improve. And if someone criticizes your writing skills, you can always improve by reading our free essay samples and writing tips;
  4. React to the contents, not emotions. The problem with critical comments, whether at work or at home, is the way they are delivered. As a rule it is done in emotional way, often with raised voice and rude words, what makes it hard to stay productive and unbiased. However, try to see behind all the emotions and recognize what the person really tries to tell you;
  5. See a positive aspect. Try to shift your perspective and view the critical comments not as evil, but as something meant to make you better. After all, such comments even when delivered in unpleasant manner aim to point out some aspect of your work or behavior that needs improvement. Of course, praise is nice and sometimes motivating, but criticism can really help you to get better and achieve more;
  6. Nothing personal. The most important thing to understand when you want to handle criticism well is that it directed not at you, but some of your actions. When your boss makes a harsh comment regarding the poorly made pamphlets or lost business deal, you have to remember that he doesn’t criticize you as a person. He doesn’t want to say that you are a bad or not intelligent person. All he refers to is that a certain work was done badly and not in intelligent way. Next time when you feel hurt and offended, remind yourself that there is nothing personal;
  7. False criticism. All these advice were given with the thought of constructive, well deserved comments. However, not all criticism is constructive. Sometimes people are just vile and say something to hurt you. You have to be able to recognize such comments and distinguish them from constructive ones. Nevertheless, even though you know that certain comments are not true and unfair, you still feel hurt and nervous. The only way to deal with it to tell yourself that this person words have no power over you, they cannot change who you are. If someone keeps telling you that you are an elephant, you still will not become one. The same logic works for false criticism, they are just empty words thrown into space. Try to distance yourself and stay dignified.

Critical comments can be hurtful for our self-esteem, however there is an approach that could help you to stay calm and react productively. The most important thing to remember is that any criticism can help you to improve, so it is in your interests to separate the constructive truth from emotions. Hopefully, these tips will help you to calm down your nerves and handle comments in a positive dignified manner. And if any of your problems are connected with writing, you can seek professional assistance of Star-Writers. Moreover, on our blog you will be able to find a lot of curios articles on variety of popular topics that could strike your imagination and inspire some ideas. Quickly and for a very modest price our masterful authors and editors will help your writing to succeed.